Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize