Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
so much tequila, so little girl.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
