So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
