My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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