I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
