He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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