You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
