He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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