How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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