Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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