I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
