She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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