Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
