Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
