dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
