I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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