Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
