I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
