he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
