Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
