I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My first STD was from a foam party
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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