he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
