Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
