Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
