I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
