Will you blow on my dice?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize