He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
