Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
