a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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