I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
