:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
