That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
