You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
