I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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