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watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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