don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
