I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
