He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
