After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
