I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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