I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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