I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize