we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
