her vagine was all disorganized.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
