Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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