He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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