community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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