operation have a gay friend backfired
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think my moral compass just broke
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
