She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize