My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have already put on my inside pants.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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