All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
In other news, I just burned my penis
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
