In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
