I think im going to throw up on grandma
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
