Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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