I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize