a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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