do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
