I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
