You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
They have beer where we have blood.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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