puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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