I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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