Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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