You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
should my penis look like a turkey
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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