Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
