Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
